Rabbits and the Rapture

Strange creatures, rabbits. And surprisingly varied in their ecclesiastical behaviour.

Most rabbits have a strongly dualist theology. They believe in Swooping Doom, an evil deity which takes the form of a giant and savage Red Kite, forever hovering over innocent rabbits and awaiting the time to fall from the sky spreading death and disaster for rabbitkind. The fundamentalist Christian idea of a "rapture" is of course a nightmare to rabbits - in the sky is where the Enemy lurks, and in the final reckoning that is where the bad bunnies will end up. Rabbits being creatures that enjoy the depths of the earth, their idea of heaven is again the reverse of humanity's. They believe that good rabbits will be safe forever deep underground in the Great Burrow, the home of Big Bunny. Big Bunny is the eternal enemy of Swooping Doom and it is said that he lurks among groups of grazing rabbits at times, trying to lure birds of prey to their deaths. Being an immortal being of infinitely great strength, if a Red Kite or other flying predator swoops down on Big Bunny it will break its back, while foxes will break their jaws on his infinitely strong hide.
The foxes and kites, of course mostly reckon this is all just a giant rabbit myth designed specifically to encourage them to attack other animals instead...

Meanwhile the more liberal rabbits deny the existence of Swooping Death. They claim that this is a mere personification of evil and the threats that exist to rabbits. In their view, the great Burrow is open to all rabbits and the afterlife is a form of purgatory as all rabbits journey down their individual tunnels, digging their way to their goal.

Other rabbits look around at the world, see foxes, badgers, birds of prey, Ford Mondeos and other natural enemies of bunnykind. They look at the return of myxomatosis to the land and they conclude that, either the Big Bunny does not exist, or he is actually a badger in disguise. They have given up leaving offerings of dandelion leaves and choice bits of tree bark for the Big Bunny. But then they have also stopped breeding, on the grounds that there seems to be no point. Instead they spend their lives dreaming up witty comments they would post on Comment is Free if only they had fingers instead of paws, and accusing the pet rabbits in nearby gardens of having "imaginary owners".